Place sesame oil and garlic in a medium microwavable bowl. Cook on high for 1 minute. Remove and add soy sauce, dark soy sauce, and dumpling sauce. Mix well. Set aside.
In a small non-stick pan, heat vegetable oil. Crack egg into pan and cook until desired doneness. Remove and set aside.
Bring a medium sized pot of water to boil. Add dried noodles and cook for 4 to 5 minutes or according to packaging instructions.
Remove, drain, and transfer to bowl with sauce mixture. Toss to coat noodles evenly with sauce.
Add kale to boiling water for 20 seconds. Remove and drain.
Transfer noodles to a serving dish. Top with egg, kale, and chili.